Lesson 9: ESSAY STRUCTURE: Introduction, Body paragraph, Conclusion
1 The introduction
1.1 The introduction
There are no fixed governing what an introduction should look like or how many sentences it should contain. There are some key features to point out
1.1.1 Key features of an introduction
Our introduction briefly tells the reader what they need to know before reading our argument. It should answer several questions:
What is the topic and focus of this essay? (i.e. the context for this essay)
What is the main issue or point that will be discussed in your essay?
Although this is only a short paragraph, there are varying approaches to how to write it, which appear to cause quite a lot of confusion. Because of this, there are some recurring problems. The first three have one common thread: getting started.
1.1.2 Problem 1 - Misrepresenting the question
Many people are so keen to get started in their writing that they quickly skim read the test question. This can mean that they jump to a conclusion about what it means, or misinterpret it, and then misrepresent it in their introduction. The idea in their body paragraphs then move further and further away from the issue raised in the question, compounding the problem. Some candidates identify only the broad general topic within the question and write about this instead of the very specific issue they were asked to discuss.
1.1.3 Problem 2 - Making a general statement
Some people tell, ‘I like to begin with a general statement’. The danger here is that these are so general that they do not seem relevant to the issue raised in the question. Others begin their essays in a very rehearsed way that is often not accurate. For example, ‘This is an often debated topic’. Or ‘This is a controversial topic’, when in fact the issue in the question is not a common topic of conversation, or is rather mundane.
1.1.4 Problem 3 - Trying to use a ‘hook’
Some people begin an introduction with a ‘hook’, such as an interesting fact or statistic. Hooks are used by professional writers to grab the attention of the reader. Our examiner does not need to be persuaded to read our answer, and they do not need to be entertained by our writing. Even more importantly, a hook can seem out of place in a formal discursive essay, and they often seem irrelevant to the question.
1.1.5 Solution 1: Read the test question carefully
Although it is the first paragraph in our essay, our introduction should not be the starting point of our writing; we need to think carefully about the question, then think through and plan our whole argument first. We will never be asked to simply discuss a very broad topic such as ‘pollution’ or ‘technology’, so keep reading until we have fully understood exactly issue we are being asked to write about.
Pay particular attention to the words and phrases in the question that indicate the claim or argument that is being made, because this is what we must respond to in our answer to achieve a good Task response score. Typical words and phrases to look for are:
should, should always; should not; would be better; the only way; the best way, etc
If there are any words in the question we do not know, read the whole question again more slowly. Skilled test writers try to help us understand words or ideas, either by giving an example, or using paraphrase, so take the time to look for these clues. Look at the following example:
Some people believe that parents should be responsible for teaching children right from wrong. Others think that schools should also teach children to behave well.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some candidates might not know the phrase ‘to teach right from wrong’, so the second sentence paraphrases this idea with ‘teaching children to behave well’, helping to explain it. This is done deliberately at the test writing stage, so make sure we use all of the help that is there in the question.
Don’t quickly skim read the question so that you can start writing as soon as possible. Take the time to read it carefully; identify the issue you must discuss and the argument you must respond to. Look for clues within the question to help you understand the meaning of key ideas.
1.1.6 Solution 2: Begin with a general statement
Our first sentence should introduce the broad topic and thus set the context for our essay. Although this is quite a general statement, it should still be relevant to the question and to our argument.
Accurately identifying the general topic in the question is an important first step.
1.1.7 Problem 4 - ‘Translating’ the words in the question
Having set the overall context in our first sentence, the next sentence will introduce the reader to the issue that is going to be discussed. Many people already know that you should avoid copying directly from the question, but then go too far by substituting each word with a synonym.
1.1.8 Solution
Although it is true that we should not copy large parts of the question, this does not mean you have to avoid all of the words, which may have been used because they are the most appropriate or the most natural. For example, ‘Some people’ is the most natural way to talk about an anonymous group; we don’t use ‘Numerous individuals’ or ‘humans’, in the same way. Similarly, ‘teachers’ is a better word to use than ‘educational scholars’ and ‘children’ is more natural than ‘youths’.
Rather than translating the words in the question, aim to interpret the overall meaning as precisely as we can. It can sometimes help to change the statement we are given into a question. This has the additional advantage of making our task clearer.
1.2 Identifying common themes
1.2.1 Exercise
Complete the following introduction to our essay question using these words and phrases
at school, grow up, discipline, teach
Discipline is an important part of growing up. Some people believe that children should be taught how to behave at school, while others think this is the job of their parents.
What common themes do you think you might write about in an essay about
one of the 4 general topics in the table below?
Look at the following list of common themes and decide which of the general
topics in the table they match. Write the words and phrases in the appropriate
column.
Common themes:
accommodation, curriculum, doctors, diet, entertainment, exercise, free time,
friends and family, food, going out, hospitals, holidays, medicine, money,
nursing, pressure, resources, socialising, students, study, the arts, teachers,
work
| Education | Life / Living | Health | Entertainment |
|---|---|---|---|
| students | accommodation | diet | going out |
| curriculum | free time | doctors | holiday |
| students | friend and family | exercise | socializing |
| study | money | food | the arts |
| teacher | pressure | hospitals | |
| resources | medicine | ||
| nursing |
Look at the following list of opening sentences taken from essays discussing whether: ‘being a celebrity brings more benefits or more challenges’.
Decide whether the sentences introduce the focus and the general topic of this essay well and identify any problems (You may need to select more than one box). Click on ‘Show answers’ to see my comments.
| introduces the focus of the essay | introduces the general topic of the essay | introduces the issue raised in the question | translates the question into synonyms | misrepresents the question | a good opening sentence for an introduction to this essay | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | x | |||||
| 2 | x | |||||
| 3 | x | x | ||||
| 4 | x | x |
It is true that when ambitious people follows their dreams, they achieve their goals at certain stage.
It is an undeniable fact that eminent personalities are followed by almost everyone since the days bygone.
It is argued that stardom does not only beget prosperity but also complications.
Fame and its impact on the lifestyle of celebrities fascinates many people.
ANSWER:
| introduces the focus of the essay | introduces the general topic of the essay | introduces the issue raised in the question | translates the question into synonyms | misrepresents the question | a good opening sentence for an introduction to this essay | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | x | |||||
| 2 | x | x | ||||
| 3 | x | x | ||||
| 4 | x | x | x |
In sentence 1, the focus is not accurate - this is about famous people, not ambitious people. The general topic is not accurate (the topic is the impact that fame has)
In sentence 2, the general topic is not accurate: ‘eminent personalities’ is an attempt to translate the question using synonyms but ‘eminent’ people (people who are important in society) are not the focus of this essay.
Sentence 3 translates the words in the question into synonyms and also introduces the issue rather than the focus and general topic.
Sentence 4 is a good opening sentence - the focus and general topic are clear. As you will see later, the phrase ‘fascinates many people’ introduces a theme that will occur later in the essay. ## Paraphrasing
1.3 Problem 5 - Making an argument within your introduction
Solution
If you decide to include a thesis statement in your introduction, you need to:
be fully aware of your position and main argument before writing it
give only a brief overview of your thesis (in one sentence)
make sure your thesis accurately reflects the argument you will make in your body paragraphs
1.4 Problem 6 - Ending your introduction
Some candidates finish their introduction with a sentence that paraphrases the final question in the writing task. For example, ‘In this essay I will discuss these two views before giving my own opinion’. This copy the words in the task almost exactly, which is not a good idea. Others draw attention to the writing process in a different way: ‘I will now prove that…’. Again, this is unnecessary - your examiners knows why you are writing; In our introduction, they just want to learn what you are writing about.
Solution
Don’t paraphrase the question itself, only focus on the topic and the issue that will be discussed. Aim to write in a less personal way - keep the focus on your essay, not on yourself as the writer. For example, it is better to write: ‘This essay will discuss …’ instead of ‘In this essay I will discuss…’
2 The body paragraph
Your body paragraphs are made up of sentences that connect together to form one unit; each sentence is rather like a small building block that helps create one larger building block within your overall argument. The reader should be able to identify the central topic from your first and last sentences, and this same topic should be reflected in the sentences in between, which each serve to explain and support your main ideas.
Look at how the first and the last sentences from the band 9 paragraph
Schools
2.1 Problem 1 - A lack of a clear argument and clear central topic
2.2 Problem 2 - Long confusing sentences
2.2.1 Solution
Think of each sentence in your paragraph as having a clear purpose. For example:
- Introducing an argument - (presenting your main central roles)
- Giving a reason for believing a conclusion you have reached
- Showing an effect (to help support your conclusion)
- Explaining or expanding (to clarify your context, a key term, or an idea)
- Giving an example (to support your conclusion)
- Concluding an argument or paragraph (summing up the main idea and showing how it links to the question)
2.3 Problem 3 - One paragraph is more successful than another
2.3.1 Solution
3 The conclusion
Problems
Make sure to write at least two sentences in your conclusion. The first should summarise the main
ideas in your argument. To help with this, look back at the first and last sentences in each body
paragraph and summarise these. In your final sentence, make sure to answer the question you were
given. In other words, make it clear whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages;
whether this is a positive or a negative development; or the extent to which you agree or disagree etc.
The biggest problems I see in conclusions are:
conclusions that are too short (often one sentence only)
summarising only one idea rather than the main points in the argument
not answering the question (i.e. not saying to what extent you agree / disagree etc.)
introducing a new idea that has not been discussed or mentioned earlier
Words and phrases should use:
To sum up, ; In conclusion, ; Therefore, ; I completely agree / disagree ; In my view, etc